Matt-
It was great to reflect on this and think about the lessons offered here:
1)”Do as I say, not as I do” – while your parents may not have taken you through a specific lesson plan or spent much time on the subject of money, they certainly mentored where it mattered most: Behavior. The impact is tremendous right down to your fantastic book focused on Money/Purpose/Joy… this post could have been the foreward if you think about it…
2) Love that you included the career change as an example. Time is the most precious financial asset you can give anyone.
Happy Father’s Day –
What a beautiful message. It forced me to think back regarding how my parents did or didn’t educate us in financial matters.
We never knew we were less fortunate than others because we always had a nice home, enough food to eat and clothes to keep us comfortable.
My dad was very frugal and saved very conservatively so, when he retired, most of his savings were in savings bonds and CD’s. Over time, this decision lead to a reduction in his standard of living and during the last few years of his life he obsessed over finances.
Wayne – Some great insights. Thanks for sharing all these details.
I think it’s helpful to reflect on the job our parents did. Doing so gives us compassion, new insights into our own beliefs and behaviors, and maybe even an opportunity to heal some wounds. And it definitely provides ideas we can use as we try to get the whole dad thing right ourselves.
Greg – The idea wasn’t to deliver a report card to your dad. It was for your own reflection, and, depending on the insights gained from the exercise, to have something (positive) to add to the conversation on Father’s Day.
While I don’t necessarily agree/disagree with anything you said, what father want’s to be graded on fathers day? No one would even suggest anyone should give a grade to mothers on any topic on Mother’s Day.
Mother’s day sermons are typically about how great thou art oh mother. Father’s day sermons are typically about shirking their responsibilities as fathers. Is it any wonder the wives have a hard time getting there husbands to go to church?
Teaching Wise $$ Mgmt — D as well. I remember watching my dad sit at the kitchen table for an hour or two every few weeks, ‘paying bills,’ as he would tell me. But never took the time to tell me his philosophy of handling money, how to budget, etc. Like you, I am determined to teach my children everything I’ve learned, good decisions and terrible ones, over the last 25 years, on my own, about money management.
Modeling Wise $$ Mgmt — C-
Again, since my dad didn’t talk about money much, except for having ‘money problems’ from time to time, I was fairly worried as a teenager and than college student that my parents were overspending, using credit too much, etc. What I have come to discover is that my dad put away enough money, a humble amount but enough nonetheless to carry him up to his 84th birthday and counting without ever having to borrow or ask for money from us five boys. Since I now monitor his bank accounts with his approval (along with my older brother), I found he had a 50K CD and some other savings that I never knew he had and he never talked about. So a lot of perceptions were wrong about his handling of money, it’s just that it wasn’t talked about and was basically none of our business. That’s sad.
Career Path
My dad worked a lot of jobs, sometimes two at a time to support our family. I owe him a big thank you for that, that’s for sure. Also one other time when I was about 16-17, he had a chance to take a good job running an insurance agency that was to be a promotional move for him. But he chose Chicago over moving to Dallas, for which I am eternally grateful, since I can’t stand that kind of heat and humidity for any more than 3 months a year. His choice to stay home was for the good of the family more than anything, for our stability as a family, and I owe him a thank you for that as well. Thanks for the article and the reminders to honor our father, esp. during this time of the year.
Matt-
It was great to reflect on this and think about the lessons offered here:
1)”Do as I say, not as I do” – while your parents may not have taken you through a specific lesson plan or spent much time on the subject of money, they certainly mentored where it mattered most: Behavior. The impact is tremendous right down to your fantastic book focused on Money/Purpose/Joy… this post could have been the foreward if you think about it…
2) Love that you included the career change as an example. Time is the most precious financial asset you can give anyone.
Happy Father’s Day –
Matt,
What a beautiful message. It forced me to think back regarding how my parents did or didn’t educate us in financial matters.
We never knew we were less fortunate than others because we always had a nice home, enough food to eat and clothes to keep us comfortable.
My dad was very frugal and saved very conservatively so, when he retired, most of his savings were in savings bonds and CD’s. Over time, this decision lead to a reduction in his standard of living and during the last few years of his life he obsessed over finances.
Wayne – Some great insights. Thanks for sharing all these details.
I think it’s helpful to reflect on the job our parents did. Doing so gives us compassion, new insights into our own beliefs and behaviors, and maybe even an opportunity to heal some wounds. And it definitely provides ideas we can use as we try to get the whole dad thing right ourselves.
Greg – The idea wasn’t to deliver a report card to your dad. It was for your own reflection, and, depending on the insights gained from the exercise, to have something (positive) to add to the conversation on Father’s Day.
While I don’t necessarily agree/disagree with anything you said, what father want’s to be graded on fathers day? No one would even suggest anyone should give a grade to mothers on any topic on Mother’s Day.
Mother’s day sermons are typically about how great thou art oh mother. Father’s day sermons are typically about shirking their responsibilities as fathers. Is it any wonder the wives have a hard time getting there husbands to go to church?
Hi Matt,
Grades for my father in the 3 areas you mention:
Teaching Wise $$ Mgmt — D as well. I remember watching my dad sit at the kitchen table for an hour or two every few weeks, ‘paying bills,’ as he would tell me. But never took the time to tell me his philosophy of handling money, how to budget, etc. Like you, I am determined to teach my children everything I’ve learned, good decisions and terrible ones, over the last 25 years, on my own, about money management.
Modeling Wise $$ Mgmt — C-
Again, since my dad didn’t talk about money much, except for having ‘money problems’ from time to time, I was fairly worried as a teenager and than college student that my parents were overspending, using credit too much, etc. What I have come to discover is that my dad put away enough money, a humble amount but enough nonetheless to carry him up to his 84th birthday and counting without ever having to borrow or ask for money from us five boys. Since I now monitor his bank accounts with his approval (along with my older brother), I found he had a 50K CD and some other savings that I never knew he had and he never talked about. So a lot of perceptions were wrong about his handling of money, it’s just that it wasn’t talked about and was basically none of our business. That’s sad.
Career Path
My dad worked a lot of jobs, sometimes two at a time to support our family. I owe him a big thank you for that, that’s for sure. Also one other time when I was about 16-17, he had a chance to take a good job running an insurance agency that was to be a promotional move for him. But he chose Chicago over moving to Dallas, for which I am eternally grateful, since I can’t stand that kind of heat and humidity for any more than 3 months a year. His choice to stay home was for the good of the family more than anything, for our stability as a family, and I owe him a thank you for that as well. Thanks for the article and the reminders to honor our father, esp. during this time of the year.
-Wayne